I am close. I know I am. The closer I get the further away it feels though. Kind of like that one the more education you get, the more you realize just how little you know, or something like that. I feel like running away right now. I feel like going where no one knows me. Where I have no obligations. There are plenty of people in life that put themselves first, but somehow I haven’t become one of those people. Just recently someone told me they felt that I looked down upon everyone else. As if I were better than every single other person. If I do come across like that then I’m sorry. I never wanted anyone to think I was better than them. In fact, I feel like I’m just the opposite. I am constantly worrying about this, worrying about that, I never get to worry about me. That’s not healthy at all.
Back to running away, I know it’s such a childish thing to do but it’s what I feel would be best. If I just leave all my problems in the past. I can go away, start fresh and not have to worry about anyone else but me. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with putting yourself first. I feel like giving up. Saying I couldn’t hack it. I wasn’t good enough to handle it. Plenty of people before me have given up and had a decent life. Why should I be any different?